were–ralph:

were–ralph:

I know its fun to be like omg twitter is dying lets goooo

but its really sad that we’re losing yet another form of human communication and years of information because of another ceo baby manchild. I’m going to lose contact with a bunch of friends i’ve made because of this and it sucks

If i’ve learned anything from vine and twitter its that when humans are confined by limitations they accept them and somehow still make it funny and/or informative

yeahdragon:

yeahdragon:

been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

There is so much story telling here. A person got this pacific parrotlet named it Bruce which in and of itself is amazing but then this person went here my little bird friend a raspbebe for you to enjoy and Bruce said hell yeah and went cataclysmicly and irreversible ape shit ham on that berry. And that probably happened more than once. So instead of never again allowing this little dinosaur the joy of the succulent flesh of the delectable raspberry they went what can we do for our little baby boy. and then boom they got some kind of cake cover type deal and cut a door into it so that Bruce would Not Be Trapped in a fruit prison (altho truely it is the berries who are trapped in there with Bruce but none the less) and so he may go to his pent house and freak it as crazily as his little bird heart desires.

Anyway i love pets they are each distinct little guys who are carred for by the funniest ape to ever exist bc we love animal so much

astraltrickster:

Dear tumblr newbies of #196:

ALT

pastadoughie:

jizzardtower:

hapalopus:

Kinda surprised how many different animals can be black and tan

bogleech:

gunsandfireandshit:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

turing-tested:

“Many species of polychaetes undergo epitoky whereby sexually immature worms transform into pelagic morphs capable of sexual reproduction. After fertilization, they release their gametes through rapid disintegration.”

worms are out here having insane sex we can’t even comprehend

“what do they mean by disintegrate?”
“oh yeah no he fucking disintegrated”

This skips the best part! The epitoke isn’t the “real” or “original” worm. The worm grows an extra body with a simpler brain that only knows how to swim and cum (by exploding) so this part breaks off and the rest of the worm just stays home.

In some species the epitoke, or what I think should be renamed the cummunculus, is advanced enough to have its own eyes and everything, though only so it at least knows the right direction to swim (up) because it’s so stupid and all

sabertoothwalrus:

crossroadswrite:

idk about you but i’m a sucker for the we just had sex and it’s the morning after and i woke up to an empty bed and how could i be so stupid of course you left me alone but wait you’re in my kitchen cooking me breakfast and i’m so relieved trope